


The Squad

by orphan_account



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Everybody Lives, Group chat, Humor, M/M, Nobody is Dead, Texting, gay boys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-05
Packaged: 2018-11-22 04:53:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11372970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jared thinks it's a great idea to put his best friends into a Group chat.





	1. THE SQUAD

JaredSlyman added Mainstreem, AlanaBecck, prettymurph, and BestMurph to Group.

Jared Slyman changed group name to The Squad.

Mainstreem: Jared what is this

AlanaBecck: A groupchat?

JaredSlyman: A GROUPCHAT!! with my fave bitches

AlanaBecck: Wow, Bold.

Mainstreem: This is wild

prettymurph: Jared what the fuck?

JaredSlyman: Fight me Zoe

prettymurph: it's not zoe,,,

JaredSlyman: So.. Connor is "prettymurph"?

Mainstreem: Makes sense

JaredSlyman: What

BestMurph: What

AlanaBecck: What

prettymurph: i'm flattered tree boy evan (;

-

JaredSlyman sent a direct message BestMurph

JaredSlyman: Do you think

JaredSlyman: Evan

JaredSlyman: Is gay for your brother

BestMurph: Probably lmao

BestMurph: Is Evan even Gay?

JaredSlyman: I'll find out


	2. Queer Penguins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexualitys are revealed and the queers flock together

**JaredSlyman to The Squad**

JaredSlyman: I'm gay

AlanaBecck: Congrats?

BestMurph: Wow

Mainstreem: Okay?

prettymurph: wow we finally have something in common

BestMurph: CONNOR????

JaredSlyman: Oh so it's a surprise for him but not for me?

prettymurph: oh yeah zoe if you didn't know i'm gay

BestMurph: I mean I had a feeling

JaredSlyman: Well, I'm gay but also Demisexual I guess?

Mainstreem: No one's surprised you're gay Jared

JaredSlyman: ...

AlanaBecck: I'm a lesbian.

BestMurph: :00

Mainstreem: That's cool Alana!

AlanaBecck: I don't search for relationships but.. Nothing about guys is good to me.

prettymurph: oh, same for me but i love boys and i hate girls

JaredSlyman: CONNOR LOVES SOMETHING????

Mainstreem: :O

prettymurph: shocking ikr

BestMurph: I'm Pan(:

prettymurph: my sister is queer??

AlanaBecck: Ah that's so cool (-:

JaredSlyman: So,, Evan

Mainstreem: Yes?

JaredSlyman: ...

Mainstreem: ??

prettymurph: ,,,,,

BestMurph: . . .

Mainstreem: ???

AlanaBecck: ............

Mainstreem: ???

JaredSlyman: ARE YOU GAY?

Mainstreem: Oh

Mainstreem: No, Bi

JaredSlyman: Ohhh

prettymurph: makes sense

JaredSlyman: So we got two gays, a lesbian, a pan, and a bi

BestMurph: the queers flock together like penguins

AlanaBecck: PENGUINS

BestMurph: PENGUIN SQUAD

prettymurph: squad goals

**Mainstreem renamed group Queer Penguins**

JaredSlyman: WAIT

AlanaBecck: Jared?

prettymurph: ?

BestMurph: um

JaredSlyman: E V A N

Mainstreem: Uh, Yes??

JaredSlyman: YOUR USERNAME IS A FUCKING PUN

AlanaBecck: 0-:

BestMurph: pun?

JaredSlyman: MAINS TREE M

BestMurph: OH MY GOD

prettymurph: how predictable

AlanaBecck: I'm not surprised

Mainstreem: I CAN FEEL THE JUDGEMENT

-

prettymurph sent a direct message to Mainstreem

prettymurph: do u wanna come over tmrw?

Mainstreem: Only if you correct your grammar you turnip.

prettymurph: t u r n i p

Mainstreem: Yes, you're a turnip

prettymurph: thx bb

Mainstreem: GRAMMAR

prettymurph: Would thy like to attend my house tomorrow?

Mainstreem: ATTEND your HOUSE???

prettymurph: IDK SHAKEPIRE

Mainstreem: S H A K E P I R E

Mainstreem: I ASKED FOR GRAMMAR NOT SHAKESPEARE

prettymurph: CAN YOU PLEASE COME TO MY HOUSE TOMORROW EVAN HANSEN

Mainstreem: YES I WOULD LIKE THAT

prettymurph: OKAY GOODNIGHT

Mainstreem: GOODNIGHT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls leave a comment! They're what give me motivation


	3. My Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry Potter houses and an Emotional one on one

**prettymurph sent a message to Queer Penguins**

prettymurph: whats everyones harry potter houses

AlanaBecck: Ravenclaw, unsurpringly

JaredSlyman: slytherin+gryffindor

BestMurph: Gryffindor

prettymurph: gross

BestMurph: HOW DARE YOU

Mainstreem: I'm a slytherin

prettymurph: NO WAY

prettymurph: YOU SEEM LIKE SUCH A HUFFLEPUFF

Mainstreem: I've taken lots of tests my dude

BestMurph: Evan a hufflepuff???

AlanaBecck: Wait Connor what are you?

prettymurph: , , , i dont wanna say

prettymurph: it's embarrassing

JaredSlyman: You're a fucking hufflepuff aren't you

BestMurph: Wait no way aren't hufflepuffs nice?

prettymurph: wow zoe

AlanaBecck: Hufflepuff's are loyal, dedicated, passionate, dedicated, and tolerant.

prettymurph: ive taken the test so many times how do i keep getting hufflepuff?? it's not me at all

BestMurph: Yeah you're not any of those things

prettymurph: /:

Mainstreem: I disagree

JaredSlyman: I'm still shocked @ Evan being a slytherin, and Zoe? You're a gryffindor?

AlanaBecck: Makes sense, Gryffindors are daring, confident, brave, and valiant.

JaredSlyman: I can see it. Anyway, I gotta go, it's almost midnight and tomorrows monday

AlanaBecck: Yes me too, goodnight guys!

JaredSlyman: Goodnight

BestMurph: Goodnight !

-

**prettymurph sent a direct message to Mainstreem**

prettymurph: hey

Mainstreem: Hi!

prettymurph: i need help

Mainstreem:With? Are you Okay?

prettymurph: no

Mainstreem: Oh.. what's up?

prettymurph: im getting better evan, but some days..

Mainstreem: You can tell me.

prettymurph: Some days I wish I succeeded.

Mainstreem: Succeeded in what?

prettymurph: nothing, i don't wanna say it, can we talk about something?

Mainstreem: Yes of course

Mainstreem: What do you wanna talk about?

prettymurph: um

prettymurph: trees

Mainstreem: You? Wanna talk about trees?

prettymurph: yes, you like them and i like it when you talk about stuff you're passionate about. i just need a distraction before i get into my own head

Mainstreem: Oh

Mainstreem: Okay :) well, I think the reason I like trees so much is because they make me feel.. far away

prettymurph: hm? elaborate

Mainstreem: Well, the world makes me sad. I always loved clouds when I was younger, but you can't get to clouds, you can't sit on clouds. With Trees, you can climb them and be forty feet away from the earth.

Mainstreem: It's so  beautiful to me.

prettymurph: thats... amazing evan

prettymurph: idk what i'm feeling right now but it's not negative.

Mainstreem: I'm glad I could help :)

prettymurph: until i met you, i never appreciated trees, or ever really though about them. Now, I just think of you every time i see them and that

prettymurph: that's pretty nice

Mainstream: I think of you when I see the moon

prettymurph: the moon?

Mainstreem: Yeah. You just remind me of it. You're underappreciated and people overlook you, but you're.. really phenomenal

prettymurph: evan, you're way too sweet

Mainstreem: yeah, i'm sappy

prettymurph: DID YOU JUST

Mainstreem: Yup (:

prettymurph: I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING NICE AND THEN YOU JUST

Mainstreem: Wait no say it!

prettymurph: ):<

Mainstreem: pleaaaase?

prettymurph: fine. well, if i'm the moon, aren't you kind of like the sun? for me especially? you help me grow, and i.. i'd die without you

Mainstreem:Connor

Mainstreem: I don't think I've ever seen you so vunerable

prettymurph: i know i hate it

prettymurph: you're changing me

prettymurph: fuck my moms gonna take my phone if i dont go to bed

Mainstreem: Ah, alright, see you tomorrow?

prettymurph: yeah! goodnight evan

Mainstreem: Goodnight Connor xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment!!


	4. Evan please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan is gay for Connor lol what a surprise

**Mainstreem sent a direct message to prettymurph**

Mainstreem: Hey Connor!

prettymurph: hey ev

Mainstreem: Are you doing well today?

prettymurph: /:

Mainstreem: Did something happen?

prettymurph: larry happened

Mainstreem: Talk to me

prettymurph: i fucking hate him

Mainstreem: I know

prettymurph: he doesn't listen to me he treats me like a fucking criminal

prettymurph: the first time i threatened to kill myself he told me i was looking for attention

Mainstreem: What the fuck? That's not okay!

prettymurph: i don't wanna be here

Mainstreem: Then come over

prettymurph: are you sure? it's like 11

Mainstreem: If you don't wanna be in your house come to mine, you can come in through the window, you'll feel better sleeping here.

prettymurph: okay i'm on my way

**Mainstreem sent a direct message to BestMurph**

Mainstreem: Zoe

Mainstreem: Zoeeee

Mainstreem: Zo e

Mainstreem: zOE

Mainstreem: ZOE MURPHY

BestMurph: WHAT

Mainstreem: CONNOR IS AT MY HOUSE

Mainstreem: AND HE FELL ASLEEP

Mainstreem: AND HE'S LIKE. . . CUDDLING ME

BestMurph: Evan

BestMurph: Are you gay for my brother

Mainstreem: I DON'T KNOW HE WAS UPSET AND I INVITED HIM OVER AND WE TALKED FOR LIKE AN HOUR BUT HE FELL ASLEEP AND HE'S LIKE A GODDAMN KOALA

BestMurph: Evan calm down

Mainstreem: IF I LIKE HIM HE'LL HATE ME

Mainstreem: BUT I LIKE HIM

Mainstreem: MAYBE

BestMurph: If it helps I'm pretty sure he likes you too

Mainstreem: WWHAT

BestMurph: He carved your initials into the willow tree in our back yard

Mainstreem: That'ssocuteohmygod

BestMurph: Yeah I mean, That's pretty homosexual

Mainstreem: Jared thinks we're already dating

BestMurph: Also since you're gay for him, i'll send you this pic

_**BestMurph sent connorbun.png** _

Mainstreem: His hair

Mainstreem: Is in a

Mainstreem: BUN

BestMurph: He wears that around the house sometimes

Mainstreem: Zoe, have you ever braided his hair?

BestMurph: No, you want me too though, don't you

Mainstreem: I will pay you

BestMurph: Goodnight fucker

**Mainstreem sent a direct message to JaredSlyman**

Mainstreem: Jard Kleinmam 

JaredSlyman: Jard?

Mainstreem: Jard

JaredSlyman: Evan it's midnight what the fuck

Mainstreem: I need advice

JaredSlyman: Why are you asking me?

Mainstreem: Zoe and Alana are asleep

JaredSlyman: And what about Connor?

Mainstreem: He's what I need advice for

JaredSlyman: YOU GUYS HAD SEX DIDN'T YOU

Mainstreem: WHAT NO

JaredSlyman:DID YOU USE A CONDOM

Mainstreem:JARED WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX

JaredSlyman: Oh

JaredSlyman: Dammit, ok what happened

Mainstreem: I like him

JaredSlyman: Yeah no fuck loser what about it

Mainstreem: WAS I THAT OBVIOUS

JaredSlyman: I mean I thought you two were fucking so I mean sooo

Mainstreem: Jared what do i DO ABOUT HIM

JaredSlyman: Make out w/ him idk

Mainstreem: I can't just,, do that

JaredSlyman:It works for me

Mainstreem: Jared have you ever even dated anyone

JaredSlyman: Nope

Mainstreem: Exactly

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment!! they keep me goinnnn


	5. Chapter 5

_Alana.Becck changed username to GalaxyGirl_

**GalaxyGirl sent message to Queer Penguins**

GalaxyGirl: How do you ask someone out

Mainstreem: I wish I knew

prettymurph: "hey, you have a face, i have a face, let's smash them together"

GalaxyGirl: Creative

BestMurph: That depends on who you're trying to ask out

Mainstreem: What's the girl like?

GalaxyGirl: She's so amazing and she doesn't believe it and I notice so much about her that she doesn't know and she's just phenomenal.. If I could tell her I like her I would.

Mainstreem: Oh

Mainstreem: OH

Mainstreem:I KNOW

prettymurph: holy shit

BestMurph: Am I the only one who doesn't get it?

Mainstreem:ALANA

prettymurph: alana please do it she's oblivious

BestMurph: Waitwait

BestMurph: I GET IT

GalaxyGirl: :)

BestMurph:YES

GalaxyGirl: Is that your answer?

BestMurph: Yes of course!

prettymurph: oooo zoe's got a girlfrienddd

Mainstreem: AWWWWW

GalaxyGirl: Mission Comlete! Goodnight friends+Girlfriend

BestMurph: Goodnight friend, brother, and Girlfriend

**prettymurph sent a direct message to Mainstreem**

prettymurph: why hasn't jared said anything all night?

Mainstreem:He's grounded

prettymurph: makes sense

Mainstreem: So, how're you?

prettymurph: getting high

Mainstreem: I said how are you not what are you doing?

prettymurph: im gay lol

Mainstreem: Aye same

prettymurph: i drew you something

**prettymurph sent treeforevan.png**

Mainstreem: That's amazing!! How'd you do that?

prettymurph: i get talented when im high

Mainstreem:You're amazing

prettymurph: oh

prettymurph: so are you

Mainstreem: Aha gayyyy

prettymurph: yeah no fuck

Mainstreem: Do you ever get impulses and you really wanna yell that you're gay

prettymurph: all

prettymurph: the

prettymurph: time

Mainstreem: How do you tell someone you're gay for them

prettymurph: you don't

prettymurph: when it comes to me at least

Mainstreem: :(

prettymurph: can i come over

Mainstreem: Connor it's a school night

prettymurph: and?

Mainstreem: We'd end up staying up too later

prettymurph: doing what ;)

Mainstreem: CONNOR

prettymurph: you'll be saying that tonight ;)

prettymurph: just kidding im lowkey a bottom lol

Mainstreem: C O NN OR

prettymurph: ;;)))

Mainstreem: You're lucky I love you

prettymurph: that's gay

Mainstreem: Yeah well so am I.

prettymurph: aye me too! also i love you to

Mainstreem: *too

prettymurph: HEY I was being nice :(

prettymurph: oh well i'm still on my way

Mainstreem: Fine xx

**Author's Note:**

> yO classic texting fics


End file.
